As you read this email, I’m on day 34 of not leaving my house. Doing old things in new ways while doing completely new things too has made me busier than ever. Most of it is good, solid work which I’m grateful to have the chance to do (even though it comes with no pay)! 

But I want to pull you in close for a moment. The other day I was kinda losing my mind, because it was meeting after meeting after meeting, and task after task after task. I hadn’t had time to work out for three days. A thudding headache told me I hadn’t even taken the time to drink a glass of water. Or maybe the hurt came from the larger questions I still can’t shake, like “When will things return to normal?” and “Will everyone I know and love be okay?” 

So in case you’ve also been having a hard time, I want to offer a virtual hug in the form of some cool things you can do to de-stress, and maybe help others cope, too. Please take these ideas as small gifts from my heart, head, and hearth to yours...

1. Have a date with someone in your family.

After realizing that my frequent but brief “popcorn visits” over to my mother’s cottage weren’t exactly filling up her love tank, we agreed that daily 8AM coffees were the way to go. Here she is with the morning sun lighting up her hair like a crown. My very own Queen of England (she's from there, you know!). Later on I’ll share a very special way we sometimes spend our morning time. 

2. Sew a mask.

My friend, the amazing fashion designer Wati Grossman, offered to make a mask for my mom (cuz she’s 81) and for me (because I have asthma) which is such a generous gift in these times. And they were gorgeous, to boot! If you want to take up the cause, the New York Times offers great guidance on how to make them. Send me your pics! 

3. Gather with your neighbors.

Six years ago I founded the Maybell Way Writers Collective—a group of neighbors who meet monthly to encourage each other on our writing journey. We haven’t met in person since February of course, but that hasn’t stopped us from getting together. This photo is about half the group social distancing in the late afternoon in our cul de sac last week. Oh, and we coined a new term for ourselves: The Maybell Way Witches! 🧙🏽‍♀️

4. Make a candle.

Candle-making is a timeless art, and a creative expression that offers tremendous utility. Plus, the process forces you to slow down and let your mind relax. Early on in our self-sequester, Dan and our 18-year-old daughter Avery spent an afternoon making candles using old candle wax and petals and leaves from the garden my mother lovingly cultivates. Avery posted this first photo on the day she made the candle and the second one is from today. Taken together I think they’re helping me mark time. Dan summoned childhood memories for how to do it, and if you’re inclined to try it yourself he spelled out the step-by-step instructions here for you!

5. Solve a puzzle.

Whether it’s a jigsaw, a crossword, KenKen, Sudoku, a logic puzzle, or a word search—this is the ideal time for those activities (if I left out your favorite puzzle type, let me know!). A puzzle gets your mind working, and it becomes a social event when you ask a fellow quarantiner to join you! I mentioned last week that my social media manager, Clarice, was working on an especially time-consuming puzzle while in isolation—here is that link again, in case you want to order it and give it a try. PS/She’s out of isolation now! Congrats, Clarice!

6. Enjoy nature.

Little secret… I’m not exactly Miss Nature, okay? When I was growing up, my parents would take a daily walk around our garden after work, cocktails in hand, to admire their efforts and take note of what needed attention. They also lovingly fed the birds. Again, not really my thing. But now that I’m hanging out for a bit in my mother’s front garden each day, I’m starting to take an interest in our flora and fauna. Everyone’s nesting! We’ve got a pair of Oregon Junkos who’ve made a nest amidst the twigs out back, Goldfinches who come whenever mom puts thistle in the feeder, shy Mourning Doves nesting in the yellow climbing roses on the front of the house, and aggressive Scrub Jays in a large bush/tree in the front yard. I tell you, IDing birds is a much more complex enterprise than I realized! The two of us go all Siskel & Ebert (quietly) over whether this one is a California Towhee or a Canyon/Brown Towhee, and whether that one is a Golden-Crowned Sparrow or a White-Crowned Sparrow. Today I’m certain we saw a Chestnut-backed Chickadee, but I still have to convince my mom . Is it a sign of old age, or just respect, that I’m finally letting my mother’s passions wash over me? 

7. Tell Funny Stories.

It’s last weekend and our huge Instacart order just arrived (Thank you, Instacart!). Dan has a production line all figured out. I am on the dirty side—take the groceries out of the bags and put them on the counter. Sawyer is wiping everything down. Dan is on the “clean” side putting stuff away. It’s all good until my jeans begin falling down. And since my hands are potentially contaminated I don’t want to reach down to utch them up. “Dan?” I say. “Could you.. Um… come and um pull my pants up?” Sawyer looks over with a what the… then goes about his business. Dan comes over. He’s not really sure what I’m talking about. The jeans are still ever so slowly continuing to fall off my butt. I try to describe it without touching my clothing and have to widen my knees to keep my pants up. Finally Dan gets it. He stands behind me, grips the waistband with both hands, and pulls them up. He thinks he’s done. “But wait,” I semi-whisper. “It’s my underwear too.” Dan reaches in there and yanks my undies up. Now we’re both cracking up. Sawyer is doing a monologue about belts. It’s all good now. I keep at my task. Dan leaves to go deal with something. Sawyer is now on the “clean” side. A few minutes later I can feel my jeans starting to slide off my butt again but this time I’m determined not to let the undies fall too, because all I’ve got for help is my 20-year-old son. Pointing, I go, “Sawyer, um could you…” Great kid that he is, he comes over and utches them up while shouting, “Mom GET A BELT!” 

8. Exercise.

Being busy and feeling kinda down means I haven’t been on my treadmill for three straight days. But I know I gotta: 1) for my lungs; 2) for the endorphins; and 3) to try to counteract all the late night comfort eating I’ve been doing. I got back out there today and am thrilled to say my mile time keeps inching down. (May be why my jeans are, too. LOL). 26:33 was today’s time for two miles (that’s down from 30:00 which is what I’ve been doing for years). Go me!

9. Serve others.

The homeless, housing insecure folks, day laborers, and low income people are suffering mightily in my community and all over the country right now. I’m inspired by local-local leaders who are trying to help folks safely social-distance, and get the resources and support they need. Partnerships between local government, colleges/universities, and hotel owners is conceivably a way to get people off the streets, for example. I am staying tuned to those conversations in my community and encourage you to do the same. One of the best ways to get out of a funk is to serve others, and of course it’s the right thing to do. The simplest thing might be to support your local food bank, which you can find here.

10. Write!

I wonder whether the old adage, “The truth is stranger than fiction,” has ever been more apt? If you’re feeling the itch to write, allow me to support you.  My colleagues and I at The Writers Grotto wrote a book of writing prompts called Lit Starts: Writing Memoir. If you want help in pulling your stories out of you, you can grab your copy of Lit Starts: Writing Memoir here. And stay tuned... If I can figure out how to do an effective writing class via webinar, I just might! (All while maintaining a better work/life balance, LOL.) 

11. And of course, read a book.

Now’s a great time to read old favorites that comfort you or allow you to escape, or that new release you’ve been meaning to get to. What is that book for you? Let me know! I just finished reviewing a great new essay collection called “Hood Feminism” about how the mainstream feminist movement overlooks the needs of poor and non-white women. If you’re a Washington Post subscriber, you can read my piece on it here.

I am so grateful that technology can keep us connected during this time of social distancing, so thanks for meeting me here. I always love hearing from you, so if you feel up to it, drop me a line on the activities that are helping you and yours cope with these unusual times. Talk to you next week!

xo,